Sunday, January 24, 2016

#SelfCareSunday ♡

(image courtesy of

"Self-care."  Self-care. These words take on a different meaning depending on who you're talking to but I believe that's just the beauty of it. 

I find it uncomfortable to refer to self-care as a trend because I value it as much more than just that. However, it's sudden presence across various blogs makes it seem like such. In fact, I was not even aware self-care was a thing until it happened to come across my Tumblr dashboard (which I no longer have as a matter of fact). It was listed with an extremely long compilation of activities one can do (or choose not to do) to engage in what one calls self-care. Some of the things on the list didn't necessarily resonate with me but I overlooked it. As I mentioned before, the phrase takes on a different meaning depending on who you're speaking to. My idea of self-care may be different from yours, your best friend's, your sister's... And that's okay.

I believe a great majority of us spend so much of our time each day forcing ourselves to believe we're okay because that's what we want. We want to feel that we are in the right place spiritually, emotionally, or mentally so we force ourselves to think continuously, "I'm okay. I'm alright." But in the back of our minds, there is a voice reminding us that there is something there and we need to tend to it. 

I believe self-care is a means by which we tend to that lingering voice. 

It doesn't matter what you do necessarily, as long as it is soothing to your soul. It sounds cliché but once you begin the process, experience the serenity of it, and reflect, you can easily understand how valuable it is. We try so hard to continuously be strong for our children, siblings, parents, and significant others that in the process we lose sight of just being strong for our own sake. To be aware of and tend to one's on emotional and mental needs is not selfish by any means. (If so, I'm selfish as hell.) Any person that attempts to guilt you into believing that your own needs don't matter deserves none of your time nor effort. 

In listening to other ladies and reading various stories from some online, I've found that Black females in particular are the ones that commonly neglect to self-care. This neglect of the spiritual and/or emotional self can be just as traumatic as the neglect of the physiological self. As they say, where the mind goes, the body will follow. 

Deep psychological care heals those old wounds and tends to the new ones. It does not make you weak to have sensitivities and to be fully aware of those sensitivities. Some of the strongest women I have connected with in life have been people that are aware of their talents and strengths, yet they also understand where they need to increase that strength and improve. As a WOC who has been sensitive since I was a child, I'm very proud of my sensitive nature because it improves my ability to connect with others. I'm well-tuned to my own emotions and tendencies. And because I understand myself, I understand others better. Not to say that I can befriend just anyone, but I am less hesitant to judge other individuals based on preconceived notions. I give everyone a benefit of the doubt. Some people may call that being naive. I'll take that. 


How I self-care:

  • Writing. Just making this blog post is refreshing for me. I write hand notes on scratch paper, I keep a running journal in my cellphone, and I tweet like crazy
  • Cleaning. Anytime I organize my closet, toss away old clothes, or just deep clean the bathroom I feel so relaxed afterwards. Maybe because it's such an easy process that allows my mind to wander as it pleases. Maybe...
  • Painting my nails/doing my hair. As of late, I have stopped going to nail salons as much and just choose to save time (and $$!) by doing them at home. The process is meticulous, for me at least. Helps me clear my mind so quickly. I'm a natural with hand-in-the-head syndrome as well so watching Youtube tutorials and experimenting gives me a natural high. 
  • Taking solo walks. I live in a noisy city so anytime that I can find peace and quiet is valuable. Typically a walk through a park helps me recharge. 
  • Having a bubble bath. It seems so simple. And it really is. Typically I'm on the go so much between classes and work that showering is the most efficient option. But being able to just take time and relax for a moment is well worth it. 
How do you self-care?

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